When is it time to
say Goodbye?
How will I know when it is time?
Putting a pet to sleep is all too often a responsibility of compassionate pet stewardship. It is a very
loving decision to say "I love you too much to see you suffer". It is a gift of devoted compassion.
Knowing that it is time is based on several notions:
1) What do others say - friends are all too often the first to say its time let go - but do they really
know your pet? What does your veterinarian say? Sometimes it is important for you to remove
yourself from the situation and look at it from the outside - friends and the Vet can help you do that.
2) In many cases a pet is suffering if it can not keep up with the usual family activities. They watch
you come and go with an ache in their heart that says, "I wish I can go with you but I can't - it is just
too painful or I am too weak". You will feel guilty when you leave, but are you leaving an animal to
suffer?
3) Try to compare the healthy individual to the current individual. What behavior is different and
why is it different?
4) Are you getting frustrated with the care of your pet - does your pet cower or act as though it did
something wrong when you clean or medicate him? Do you think this care is a burden and that it
causes you stress? Just know that your pet is very aware of all of your emotions.
5) A pet will thank you for needed care with a lick or a tail wag - how does your pet react?
6) It is a rare dog or cat that actually lives to the point of senility - where they circle restlessly and
then stand with their head in a corner or get stuck somewhere between furniture. A pet that is "no
longer there" or exhibiting in and out consciousness and wandering or staring blankly is a much
more comfortable decision of euthanasia than having to euthanize a pet that is fully aware.
However - this wandering is often an attempt of a pet to hide from or somehow escape from
intractable, intense and inescapable...pain. They simply cannot get comfortable lying there so they
wander. That is a horrible realization that only few have true empathy for. Is your pet painful?
7) There is a worse grief that occurs long afterwards in cases where a pet is allowed to go for too
long - it is a realization a month or so afterwards that you let it go too far. You are then forever
burdened with that realization. Whenever you remember that pet or view an old photo - your heart
will sink with not just sadness but also with the guilt that you might have let a pet suffer for your own
sake. Try to imagine if you will feel this guilt afterwards.
Euthanasia is a mature responsibility. It is a loving gift and a noble sacrifice. When you love a thing
- let it go. Do not try to control what is not yours to control. Freedom is the goal and nature is the
most free of all but it is also the most cruel. Make a decision based on your unbiased sense of
compassion and empathy - ignore anything selfish or you might regret it later. You will never be
better off without your beloved pet, but will your pet be suffering?
At our rescue, we ask ourselves... what are the pet's 3 favorite thing? When
we see those things slipping away, we know it is time. It is still never an easy
decision.
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